You knew you needed to have them before you knew why you needed to have them.

Which makes me think today what a comfort it is, to know why. Or to think I do.

It was nerve-wracking, knowing that the babysitter had something beneath her blouse that stirred you in places that didn't really exist yet. Like an itch in a missing limb, only reversed.

They swung as she bent to wipe your face, and what you got was, I guess, a premonition. So now it's good to know, or to think I know, why I'm doing what I'm doing.