What she does is, she disappoints me. The things she says are not as good as the things I imagined her saying. She doesn't seem as intelligent as she seemed when I would sit across from her on the tram and she was silent.

And on closer inspection her face is not as pretty as I had originally thought. We talk often on the phone, and when there is any hint that she has a life outside of me I feel a strange pain in the back of my throat and my heart feels hot. I start to think that maybe I should kill her.

Whenever she has had a bad day, and we talk about her day instead of my day (which is invariably bad), I find I can barely stand the sight of her.

The worst part of all is that she consistently ignores my poor behavior. I know that she is of the mind that if I am sulky and juvenile, then I am simply wasting the opportunity to tell her frankly how I am feeling.

I am of this mind, too, but only with other people.