I tried to talk to him sometimes. Trying to talk to him was more like trying to get the courage to try and talk to him. He was my father.

He would say things that he knew I disagreed with. I think he was trying to get me to argue with him. I think this might have been him trying to get the courage to talk to me. At the time I thought he was insane. I thought that to have ideas like he had you would have to be insane and they should lock you up with the insane people.

Now all I want is a lamp and my father to not be dead anymore.